Dear diary
by Luna the dark winged angel
Summary: Discontinued! Might be remade!
1. Chapter 1

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**hey, my fans. This new story is like the show 1 lite of tears that i love and cried over. Aya is my inspiration for loving life and I wanted to make a story like that with twilight cause in New Moon Bella hated life cause of Edward left her and i wanted her to go through a hard time and see how precious life can be with or without Edward. No, I'm not trying to copy the show that i highly recommed to watch it's my own twilight story that i got the idea from that show. i hope you like it! **

_Dear diary,_

_I thought my life ended when Edward left me. The pain of a broken heart is the worst pain there is in life but you have no choice but to move on, go on with life with a hole in your heart. No matter what happens in life I can't forget the Cullens… and I cant forget Edward. I think that I wouldn't ever love somebody how much I love Edward and with all my heart and soul I forgive him for breaking my heart. This is life and sometimes fate seem unfair but I never realize how unfair it can be. I thought Edward leaving me was the worst thing that would ever happen to me in life and I had my whole life ahead of me but then this happen. _

_Spinocerebellar degeneration disease is a neurological deformation disease with unknown cause. All four limbs will slowly crease to mobile and one will lose the ability to speak and at the same time will slowly lose the ability to be able of logical thinking. Soon they will lose the ability to eat without choking. The saddest part is watching one go from walking on two feet to walking with a cane, to a walker, and then not walking at all…a wheelchair. Then there is the fear of closing one eyes and never able to wake up again. It is an incurable disease nor is there any medication. _

_I was diagnose with spinocerebellar degeneration disease just a few weeks after Edward left me. For awhile I didn't care that I was dieing that the whole in my heart was hard to live with, that I would give anything to die cause my true love didn't love me back, but after I met Amelia I know I had to fight and that I wasn't alone. With everything life throw at me I had to fight back and I will even though this fight is a one that I'm going to lose I wont give up…I will keep fighting until my last breath…I wont give up…I will live._

_Love,_

_Bella Swan_

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	2. Chapter 2

Bella look at the clock with a blank look in her eyes wondering what was taking the doctor so long to discharge her from the hospital. Bella sigh as she saw that it been a half an hour since the doctor left her on the hospital bed. Bella stood up and look in the mirror that the hospital have on the wall. Bella try not to cringe as she looks at her appearance that has changed drastically since these few weeks. Her hair dull from lack of sunshine, her eyes had bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and spark of life in her eyes were gone. It was all thanks to her love of her life leaving her a couple weeks ago. She love him with all her heart and to find out that he didn't return those feeling and she been nothing but a toy to him crushed her heart to a millions of pieces. She looks at the corner of her chin where there is a wrap since her accident this morning.

_(Flashback) _

_Bella was walking down the hall of Forks high carefully watching where she going. It had occurred to her that she been falling a lot more than usual. Her legs seem not to cooperate with her and she didn't want to make another scene at school especially after everything that happen. Her heart clench as she remember Edward and the expression on his face as he told her that he doesn't love her any more. She never knew how much pain really was until that night. The many injuries that she has had don't even come close to the pain of a broken heart. She came to the staircase that she has to walk down to in order to in order to go to her next class. She moves her leg to walk down the first step but suddenly she has no control over her leg, I wouldn't move then suddenly her whole world tilted. Her vision became blurry and her eyes roll to the back of her head._

"_BELLA!" somebody scream and it was last thing she hard as she fell down the flight of steps that seem to never end as her unmoving body tumbled down the steps._

_When she finally reaches the end students and teachers alike was in shock. Everything seems to stand still as they watch blood pool around her head like dark twisted like halo._

"_Oh my god Bella!" Angela yelled as she hurried through the crowd to Bella side. _

_Angela carefully moves Bella's head off the ground and in her unconscious state she started whimpering as if she was conscious. Angela looks widely around the people that didn't move to help still to shock to do anything but to stare._

"_What are you doing? Get help! Call 911!" Angela yelled getting everybody out of their shock and moving almost in a panic state. Soon they were able to here the sounds of sirens from inside the school._

_(End Flashback) _

Bella sigh as she thought that she could of loss a lot of blood and be in danger of dieing if Angela wasn't there to help her. a small part of her regret that Angela was there if she wasn't she wouldn't be starring at her pathetic form in the mirror and bearing this burden that weigh so heavily on her shoulders.

"Miss. Swan." Said a voice that knock Bella out of her thoughts.

Bella look to find her doctor looking at her with a solemn expression on his face.

"Can I go now?" Bella ask a little rudely but it didn't faze the doctor it was understandable since she has been waiting almost an hour.

"Bella, I was looking through medical file an I seen something that most trouble me and I request more test in order to confirm my suspicion." He said as he sat at his chair and stare at Bella in the eyes in a way to tell her that this is serious.

"What suspicion?"

He sighs as he lean forward on to his knees and regarded her with a exasperated expression.

"Please, Bella I would like to talk to your father about this if the test confirms my suspicion before we tell you. By any chance is your father here?" He asks calmly.

"Yes, he in the waiting room."

"Not in the room with you?"

"I send him out there to calm down a bit."

He nodded and with to stand up but Bella voice stops him from doing so.

"All due respect, Doctor Wilson, I'm eighteen and I'm legally an adult so I should know if something might be wrong with my body." Bella said not liking that he is treating her like a child.

Doctor Wilson sighs as he stood up pinching the bridge of his nose. Bella breath caught as she reminded of Edward but she compose herself as he look at her.

"Bella, I believe you are right but this might come to a blow to you…." He trailed off thinking how he can put this to her gently.

"You can just tell, no matter what you say if its bad news the way you say it doesn't change that it's bad news." Bella trying to coxed it out of him.

He sigh as he look at her with a serious expression that Bella only see once and it was when Edward told her that they had to talk. She thought that her life ended after that talk.

"Bella it has come to my attention that you might have spinocerebellar degeneration disease." He said calmly unaware the storm of emotions going through Bella.

She was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear diary,_

I didn't know my life change that day…more like ended when Doctor Wilson told me of my disease. I watch my father fall apart with my very eyes as he told him of the symptoms and my most likely death that will soon fall after this disease take complete control of my body. I never really saw my father cry before… Charlie wasn't the one for showing emotions it was my mother that has her heart on her sleeve. My father loves me with all his heart and he wanted me to live like no other but I didn't want to live. My eyes were dry and it seem that frankly I didn't care about my possible illness and I didn't. without Edward it didn't seem that life was worth living anymore.

_Love,_

_Bella swan_


End file.
